How to Use Affirmations in Everyday Life

The words we repeat to ourselves matter. Here’s how affirmations became part of my spiritual practice—and how I use them to encourage positive self-talk, confidence and more intentional living.

I’ve always been a spiritual person. Not necessarily in a way that fits neatly into one definition, but I’ve always believed there is more to life than what we can see. I believe in intention, energy and the importance of the way we speak to ourselves.

For years, one of the ways I’ve practiced those beliefs has been through positive affirmations.

How I started using affirmations

I can still remember the first affirmation I wrote over and over again in my journal. I was sitting in my apartment in Chicago, applying to grad school and planning what felt like a complete reinvention of my life. If I got accepted, I would quit my job, pack up my life and move to Los Angeles.

The phrase I kept returning to was:

Positive Energy + Positive Thoughts = Positive Results.

I wrote it so often that I eventually created a little symbol for it, which I started using to close my journal entries.

Years later, that same symbol would become the inspiration for a jewelry design that didn’t quite work out…but that’s another story.

When I eventually moved to Los Angeles, I was introduced to Kundalini Yoga. While I no longer practice it, many of the teachings I learned during that period have stayed with me and continue to influence the way I approach spirituality and mindfulness today.

Together, those experiences helped shape my relationship with affirmations and my belief in becoming more intentional about the thoughts I choose to give my attention to.

What are affirmations?

Affirmations are short, intentional statements that can be used to encourage a particular mindset or challenge patterns of negative self-talk. But I think affirmations can sometimes be presented as if saying something enough times will magically make it appear. Say “I am wealthy” every morning and money will arrive. Say “I am confident” and suddenly you’ll walk into every room without questioning yourself. That hasn’t been my experience.

For me, affirmations aren't about convincing the universe to simply give me something. They're about becoming aware of the conversation already happening inside my own head. Because that conversation is constant.

“Am I good enough to do this?”

“What if this doesn’t work?”

“What will people think?”

“It’s not good enough. Maybe I should wait.”

If I can repeat those thoughts to myself without even realizing it, why can't I intentionally introduce different ones?

“I am enough.”

“I trust myself.”

“I can do difficult things.”

“Everything always works out for me.”

Affirmations aren't magic. They don't automatically eliminate fear, self-doubt or uncertainty. For me, their value is much simpler: they give me another voice to listen to.

How I use affirmations in my everyday life

An affirmation practice doesn't have to involve an elaborate morning routine. I've found that small, consistent reminders fit much more naturally into my everyday life.

1. Pulling an affirmation card

Sometimes I'll choose an affirmation card in the morning and allow that phrase to become something I return to throughout the day. I don't necessarily expect myself to instantly believe every word. Sometimes the affirmation simply gives me something different to consider.

2. Writing affirmations in my journal

Journaling was one of the first places I started using affirmations, and it's still part of my practice today. Writing a phrase down can make me slow down and actually consider what I'm telling myself rather than allowing my thoughts to run on autopilot.

3. Keeping affirmations where I can see them

I keep affirmation stickers on my bathroom mirror. They're intentionally placed somewhere I look every day, turning an ordinary part of my routine into a small reminder to check in with myself and be mindful of my thoughts.

4. Using affirmations during moments of self-doubt

This is probably when affirmations are most useful to me. When I notice myself questioning whether I'm ready, comparing myself to someone else or talking myself out of doing something uncomfortable, I'll intentionally return to a phrase that challenges that thought.

It might be:

“I trust myself.” Or: “I welcome change.”

And lately:

“It is safe to be seen.”

The affirmation doesn't make the uncomfortable feeling disappear. It simply gives me another perspective from which to move forward.

Why I created my own affirmation cards

My personal relationship with affirmations eventually became part of my work at Hillary Alexandria. When I created the Club Affirmation Cards, I wasn't interested in filling a deck with beautiful sentences that simply sounded good on social media. I wanted to create a set of affirmation cards containing words I genuinely believed in and would use myself.

Something you could pull out in the morning, leave beside your bed, keep on your desk or reach for when you weren't feeling particularly confident or grounded. I also wanted the cards to be beautiful enough to give to someone you love.

Last Christmas, I challenged myself to take this idea outside of my own circle. I approached strangers on the street, asked whether they were familiar with affirmations and gifted each person a pack of affirmation stickers. About half of the people I spoke to already knew about and used affirmations. The others didn't—but what surprised me was how open they were to learning about them.

The experience ended up meaning much more to me than I expected. I had done something that made me uncomfortable: walking up to complete strangers and starting a conversation. And in a way, I was practicing exactly what the cards themselves encourage—getting out of my own head, moving through discomfort and allowing myself to believe something positive might be waiting on the other side.

Explore the Club Affirmation Cards 

Can affirmations actually change your life?

I don't believe an affirmation is going to build the life you want for you. But I do believe the things we repeatedly tell ourselves can influence how we approach our lives. 

Sometimes “I trust myself” eventually leads to making the decision you've been avoiding. Maybe “I welcome change” gives you permission to acknowledge that something you once wanted isn't what you want anymore. Or perhaps an affirmation simply catches you in a moment when your inner dialogue has become particularly unkind. Words are only the beginning. What you do with them is where things start to change.

Finding spirituality in ordinary moments

My spirituality has changed as I've gotten older, and I'm continuously working on myself. Lately, I'm less interested in trying to control exactly what happens next and more interested in creating practices that bring me back to myself.

Sometimes that's my Sunday meditation—a reset for the week ahead. Sometimes it's journaling, pulling an affirmation card or sitting quietly for a few minutes. And sometimes it's simply seeing an affirmation stuck to my bathroom mirror while I'm rushing to get ready.

There are days when I feel deeply connected and grounded. And there are plenty of other days when I'm answering emails, thinking about work, running my business, remembering what we need from the grocery store and mentally juggling twenty other things at once.

I've come to believe that spirituality can exist in those ordinary moments, too. It doesn't always require a special ritual, place or setting. Sometimes it's simply about finding small ways to come back to yourself in the middle of everyday life.

What are you telling yourself?

How often do you find yourself thinking negatively, putting yourself down or comparing yourself—and your life—to someone else's?

An affirmation may not change your circumstances. But perhaps it can interrupt a thought that's been keeping you from changing them yourself. For me, as I'm learning to open up and share more of myself, there's one affirmation I keep returning to:

“It is safe to be seen.”

Now I'm asking you the same question I've been asking myself: What have you been telling yourself lately—and is it helping you become the person you want to be?